Sometimes it seems as if the world is shrinking

Seems like it used to be

Unlimited possibilities

Of opportunities and energy

Suppose age might play a role in that

One area where the opposite occurs

Is religion

Depending on inherited or acquired faith

Oftentimes specific rules or commandments

Were required for acceptance by that religion

Never really had it explained

All the various religions and beliefs

Seemingly though admission to eternal life

Was dependent on ‘living the faith’

Occasionally an update might occur for the particular group

One item that often remained the same was that violence

Might be inflicted on opposing views

Martyrs seem be commonplace in all beliefs

There is some wonder then if a loving Supreme Being

Is commanding all this

Or if religion is a tool of manipulative humans

Is there any sense in this world?

Can there be conclusive PROOF

Of a Creator

Then here we are

From a modicum of world views

To a panorama

Of who we really are

And where we might be going

If that even ends up mattering

How would it be if the answer

Lay in all of of mankind

Heaven help us

FXC

4/14/19

There is a school of thought

I might have married too young

20 seemed a good biological choice

However there is a possibility my

Maturity level was 14

Can’t say I had assimilated all the information

My parents had been trying to pass on

Seemingly just wanted to get out the door

And REALLY? The young lady I was looking at

Had all the right prospects for a perfect future

For both she and I

And the six children we had already decided to have

Would have helped if I had remembered

One iota of insights I should have inherited

And yet, and yet

Caught a significant break

My new adopted family seemed to be concerned

There daughter, and sister

Might need a little help

Training her new young man

Nothing wrong with luck

It has taken decades and much imput

From brothers, father-in-law, Mother-in-law, sisters

To train, mold, cajole

The new adopted member of their family

Nonetheless

When prettied up

I now stand as a proud example that

‘Hope springs eternal’

FXC

4/13/19

Nothing new here

Long remembered tales

Of the struggles

Our parents and grandparents

Endured

The Great Depression

WWII

None of the ‘ Nice things’

Can we have an ‘Amen’ for

‘You kids don’t know how nice you have it’

Well how are generations going to compare

Apples and oranges

Challenges and rewards

So now there are

More of the same

Like to say sex was delayed till marriage then but not now

Relative term

Teens are still preoccupied with it

Commitment

Probably more difficult now

Sorting through all the options

Information now possibly too much

How about the complete and full story

Rather than an attention grabber

New gadgets, always something new

Electricity and TV were once ‘must haves’

Sometimes an older generation

Might forget

A value added moment like

The dinner table, a family outing

A favorite movie or TV show

Or that tender caring for a child

Is always cherished

Discussing problems while being held

Yes, yes

Much of core beliefs have been witnessed

Within us

The values and memories

That have shaped us and that we value

To endure within the ones we love

Nice that

Good character is ageless

FXC

4/12/19

Like a dream

From a shadow

You were standing there

Behind the counter

Where I have seen you so many times before

We always exchanged small talk

About kids and dogs

Then you weren’t there

Trying to recover your health

Others would update me

Prognosis was not good

Time went by six months then

This morning

Stopped in the bakery for one roll

Looking to the counter like an apparition then there

Your long white buttoned winter coat

Began a tale

Held your hands rubbing

You told me of your journey

Yet with no tears

Still beautiful

Came from behind the counter

Arms outstretched

You asked to hug me

I didn’t want to let go

Don’t know when I will ever see you again

FXC

4/111/19

The perfect touring bike

Low slung beautiful panniers

Forest green 21 speeds

Just meant for me

Surfing eBay for no good reason

Not eBay’s fault or for that matter Amazon

That temptation courses through my veins

Why would I need another bike

Where am I going to ride a 21 speed bike to

That can’t be accomplished with a yard sale bike

Oh but you don’t know this bike has my name on it

I’m getting in shape and this would help me accomplish all my goals

Like a Greek siren irresistible i feel myself swallow

With indecision, I know, I know

Where is this is going

Internal craziness

Springs forth

As ‘whatever’ blows by

Cigarette smoke,

Bourbon,

Guacamole, well okay any food

A seductive smile

Is there nothing sacred that I touch

To treasure without tiring of,

Like on a trampoline

Bouncing from one addiction to another

Most of my time

Putting out fires

My only blessing and one constant

You

FXC

4/11/19

First caught a glimpse of a spin class

On TV of course some show for just a minute

Usually just very fit people

Had to stop by the fitness club yesterday

Wanted to use the recumbent cycle

Thirty or forty minutes

Before I started my ‘workout’

I glanced in on the ‘spin class’

When from behind I heard

‘Hey, I thought you just walked around the neighborhood

I turned to see, of course, a young woman

Who I actually recognized but of course I did not remember her name

I replied, ‘True, true just thought I use the recumbent bike for a bit’

She responded, ‘ I really like to spin, you know the spin class’

Her efforts were obvious

Hair, water matting the ends

Sweat on her forehead which she wiped with her white towel

Flushed cheeks from exertion

Streamlined thighs

Feebly I explained the recumbent bike allowed me to go at my own pace

She said, ‘I need someone to make me try harder’

It was time for me to retire to my controlled exercise

Clearly there was a gap here in what we were both trying to achieve

Definitely I was trying to make it to dinner

While she understood she was going to help make dinner

Do the kids homework, etc. and come back tomorrow

To the spin class

FXC

4/10/19

Had a good friend once maybe too good

Relationships would be discussed

One subject was ‘where do we go from here’?

That concept was a minefield of possibilities

Go forward, backward or tread water

What had already been said or done

That brought us to this point

How had it changed us

Seriously

What would we do now

Everyday

Seriously now everyday?

Our relationship had now impinged

On every other one we shared

Looking in your eyes now

Who do I see

Behind those eyes

People peering through

People I should still be seeing

Too late to extract oneself

From us

Too late to go back?

Not really our choice

For all has been forever changed

FXC

4/10/19

So an allowance might have been nice

Possibly would have learned

The correlation between labor and wages

Or at least ‘if we do this we get that’

Much easier now

To reflect on how a life

Might have evolved differently

If we had raised ourselves

To produce a more desirable outcome

An outcome with a more love able person

Thus the behavior self portrait continues

Have a good close friend who is an artist

Am able to watch as

Hues and tones added

To soften the image

Bright or dark colors seem to blend

With his vision

Now our own self portrait continues

Proper money management lessons

Might have produced a savings account

Lights and darks to indicate

Profit and loss

Curves and lines

Defining borders of financial success

No sagging facial crevices

To blur the now beautiful image

Of a life well regulated

There does come a time

When blaming nature and nurture must cease

But what is our template?

When is our self portrait complete

Is it ever?

Why is money even a fit subject for self image?

It is like another ink blot

Describing us

Another drawer of our life

Which when opened

Reveals reams of dreams

Money when inherited or earned

Puts a brush in our hand

For us to create a visual

An ever evolving image of

Our own house money

And where has it all gone and why

FXC

4/10/19

Mm mm mm

Just completed

The twenty five budget review

Every twenty five years

Whether needed or not

Various templates are perused

For one that possesses Ai

That intuitively knows

What is being done with “our books”

Don’t know if they can be considered books

If left unread

Have learned quite clearly that spreadsheets

Are clearly meant for math majors

Or someone with a schematic mind

Thus ‘a document’ must suffice

That I might clearly add income and bills

Then simply add and subtract and

A proposed budget emerges

Actually available money for necessities like food

Now you talk about a hot date

Try discussing this with your significant other

Over coffee, maybe

But it definitely is not appropriate table talk at dinner

Many things can be brought into the light of day

If sunglasses are an accessory

For the harsh realities of a budget

And yet there is closeness in sharing

Even if you don’t want to

Far better to glance at the paperwork now

Prior to Balancing the Checkbook

FXC

4/9/19

Still dark sitting outside

Rocking gently

T shirt weather

Pajama bottoms

Oh my gosh

Does the adrenalin flow

Aided by caffeine

Before the sun

States it’s case for

Beginning the day

Understanding perfectly

This moment

Is only a moment

To inhale the intoxicating morning air

Time to be smothered

In the confidence

Of a new day

Before the routine

And to do lists

Rob the morning of its joy

No Galway Bay nor beach

Can replace

This morning moment

Embued with peace and hope

FXC

4/8/19