It’s only now

It’s only now

Whispers reach my ears

Steps approaching of impending encounters

Till this time youth, ambition, myopic vision

Assured my goals and dreams would be completed

Yet as shadows begin to cloud my vision

Slowly an awareness there was much that was not seen

Doubts seeping into a once confident mind

Where have I been, what have I done

Well or poor

Not for me to know  Copy write 06/17/2023



Don’t know where to begin

Instead of slowing down

Life, my thoughts seem to be on the autobahn

Choosing to go back to work

Seemed to be a choice to  reengage

Never anxious, now questioning everything

Am I antiquated, past my prime, alright, alright way past my prime

What relevancy do I have

Done this, done this many times

Why do it again

VALIDATION! I’m still in the game, thank you. Copyright 5/27/2023






Don’t cry again

Don’t cry again

Hours were whizzing by

Days were consumed with waiting

Finally even weeks seemed to be sauntering

The interview was history

Sitting at the head off a table across from the head of the company

Lining the sides of the table, individuals, all women

With multiple layers of authority

All set to evaluate my application with additional questions

Mostly just reviewed my past experiences

Which I believed qualified me for the job

But I knew this company and these individuals

All people who had worked  miracles with my family

That emotion did produce a few tears

Sorry but they were  unpreventable

My cohabitating resident authority

Made note the tears might have squashed my hiring opportunity

Yet just days later

A heavenly phone call, I got the job.

Entitled to a few more tears again I believe

FXC Copyright 2/11/2023





Quaking in my boots

Quaking in my boots

Theoretically no need to worry

Fully qualified for the job and the job interview

Actually over qualified for the job on paper

Experience and education had prepared me for this

But at 73 and retired from the workforce for thirteen years

Questions arose in my own head

Had taken some time off to enjoy grandchildren

But as my children did, the grandchildren are moving on

There have been other options that were discussed with the powers that be

Moving to Florida was dismissed as was moving to a patio home

Yard work would continue, or at least my contribution (cutting the grass)

Handyman would continue to be a budget item due to my zero home repair skills

Church would go on, occasional movie nights also

‘Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy’ would signal bedtime

The New York Times spelling bee would of course determine the brains in the house

Periodically an estate sale or visit to Kohl’s

Of course Kroger reigns as the hot bed for daily steps

So why this job?

An an ECE classroom instructional assistant

Because I can do it, they need help and I’m available

So as I perused the interview committee

Calmness came over me

I was where I wanted to be and where I needed to be

Stayed tuned!

FXC  Copyright 1/28/2022









Seemed harmless enough—

Seemed harmless enough

An old friend

A very old friend

Slipped a notice to me of a reunion of retirees from our former employer

Gosh, a rusty smile slowly spread across my face

This could be fun. Hey Julie, what do you think

Would you go with me?

Who would  I know? Your cousin would be there

Anyone else? I dont know

More problematic is who would I even recognize there

I don’t recognize myself in the mirror

So embarrassing to see people you can;t remember but they remember you

Surely, surely everyone would have name tags

How do you know that?

Back to Facebook Messenger to check with Steve

I actually remember Steve, of course it helps his face is on Facebook

Ah, fantastic everyone will have a name tag

Of course there will sill be that awkward moment

When I bury my face in my friends chest to read their named tag

But after that I’ll know their name for ten maybe twenty seconds for sure

The day came, actually it was last night

6-9 PM perfect for the plus 60 crowd

Of course BYOB, Diet Coke was my choice

And there was a DJ

Instrumental hits from the 50 to 80’s, but only one couple danced one dance

My suspicion was arthritis was the culprit

But oh my gosh memories could not recreate reality

My mind was frequently a blank when someone would call my name

I’d go over their name numerous times, staring  at the name tag again and again

Finally an image would appear that had no connection to the reality in front of me

Incredible the mismatch of a 30 to 40 year gap in social get togethers

But nonetheless laughter triumphed, smiles permeated

So, so blessed to share a night with good people

People who strove with you to get a needed job done

‘Oh what a night!’

Copyright 1/22/23 FXC











Darcy’s Room

Darcy turns 13 next March

As an aging canine she does well

A beige mixed breed rescue dog

Hobbling periodically after a long walk

Perfectly all right staying close

Where once she desired to wonder

Her early years at night spent on an old blanket

Maybe in the living room or kitchen

But on storm filled nights

Seeks the safety of our room

As the children left the house

A spare bed room became available

Still complete with bed, dresser and desk

The marbled top desk  was a family heirloom from G.P. Becker

Grandfather of the current mistress of the house

Family pictures adorned thei desk along with an oft used sewing machine

So Darcy’s now cushioned bed had a more permanent location

We always knew when friend or family were appearing at the front door

Darcy arises from her bed, tail wagging to attend to the door

But on the oft chance a stranger might approach the door

Darcy would give a well heard growl, or low bark but no more

Rushing to defend the house is not part of her genetic makeup

The highlight of the day for Darcy are meal times

Not her meal times but the meal times of the lady of the house

For at those times, Darcy has honed the ‘look’

She fixates her stare at the young lady eating the meal

Until a morsel of food is flung to the floor

Mission accomplished

Can’t really get lonely with a dog looking you in the eye  9/4/22 Copyright












Hold tight to what matters

One’s values seem to be able to be castigated

By any one’s opinions or blogs

What was seen as ‘the good old days’

Considered as false history now

But met a lady quite clear in her value

Of personal possessions

Seems a relative, a close relative

Took it upon themselves

To survey her kitchen utensils

While visiting for an extended time

Value was being given to her possessions

Based on age, along with wear and tear

Totally the opposite of how my lady friend

Judged her pride and joy

A particular faded red metal pot

Seemed to come under particularly harsh judgment

The poor lady’s relative did not quite understand

The well worn condition of the red metal pot

Only elevated the value of the pot

Long after this lady’s relative had left town

The red metal pot would again occupy

The top shelf of the faded white kitchen cabinet

Much as it had for half a century

Periodically warming a pot of chili

Nothing would ever change the value of

The precious red metal pot

FXC Copyright 8/7/2022

Hold that thought

The closed door that each possesses

Allows privacy, ecstasy, anguish, to remain behind the door

Vestiges of our hidden truth might have been revealed

If the door is slightly opened to engage in daily business

This reality has been so enforced by the pandemic

Masks aided the muting of conversations

Greatly reduced commingling

Zoom is the new norm for communication

Can’t think for oneself, the media will provide endless ideas

The far left and the far right now own the press

Went to a family reunion last weekend

Just so perfect to hold and hug

Those we love and have missed so much

Can’t really care anymore about those shouting for my attention

Just want to hold those so close that I have missed so much

Need to be able to open my door again

Hold that thought

FXC  6/12/2022 Copyright





Where is Edgerton Wisconsin?

In 1970 E.V. Holland lived at 619 6th Street Wilmette Illinois

She was a thin older woman who sat in front of her picture window

Painting with water colors, her wisps of grey hair curing into ear eyes

Gnarled fingers seemingly immobile presented visual moments of her early years

As her mailman oftentimes I had occasion to study her work

She presented me with two of her paintings which to this day  hang in my home

Now that I’m older I realize how old E.V. Holland must have been

I also realize the sheer effort she had to have made to paint every day in pain

She wrote the name of her hometown on the back of one of her gifts to me

My memory occasionally will flicker every now and then

Names and places sometimes escape me

But for all time I know what Edgeerton Wisconsin looks like

Thank you E.V. Holland

FXC  Copyright 05/21/2022


Just never new

She wasn’t the first perfect girl I knew

Of course my Mother earned her spot

My wife has carried me this far

Two daughters who lit up my life

The first granddaughter who quickly

Reminded me to be softer than I usually was

But this budding preteen

Provided me the opportunity to learn

All over again the joy of every day

Each morning before carpool

‘PaPa’ like music as she starts her day

Her accomplishments, her disappointments

Now part of my world

Acutely aware these days won’t last forever

Squeezing every precious moment

She shares her journey with so many others

Her parents have given the world a pearl


FXC 3/3/2022 Copyright